RECENT RANDOM THOUGHTS
So yeah, I've been posting some comics, new and rarely seen. I hope you are all enjoying them. It has been an uphill battle getting new ones done. A mixture of apathy and other resonsibilities are always in the way. My own anxiety used to be a driving force behind some of my drawing. Now it only makes me want to lie in a fetal position.
I suppose part of this stems from recent realizations that there will be little if any financial gain from comics. Perhaps recent isn't the word- I have always been aware that making money in a substantial way was a longshot- but it looms larger in my mind as of late.
Last night, Kris told me I am still able to peroduce books. Make em ready, get em onto my Lulu account and move em from there until I hit cons again where I can order what I need for said cons. Just have money saved up. I plan on compiling my latest bunch of online work and rarely seen material. I don't NEED to have stock on hand at all times. I'm not THAT kind of creator. I do have lots to tell though of my everyday trials and tribulations, funny and frustrating life stories. I'm not sure what drives my disillusionment. I know it swung in full gear when my Mom passed, when life as I knew it was really torn asunder. I REALLY withdrew from what was already a limited social scene. I closed in the Wall around myself and tossed up sandbags to fortify that wall. Only in the last few months have I cracked open parts of that fortification, allowed myself to feel things other than pain and sorrow.
This is a continuing process. I live for structure and routine and with my job I get that in spades. Much of my home life too. As of late a lot of that is in flux. Hard to deal with change, always has been.It's a war I'm not used to.
Comics too have been part of this. I have no wish to leave the realm of autobiography. It's where I built whatever "name" I have or dubious "success". That will not change.
I came to a realization last night. I've seen people come and go in comics the last 22 years. People who fought the good long fight and others that jumped in feet first thinking that a pot of gold lay before them. I do not consider what I've done all these years to be banging my head against a wall. It is a process of growth and change. When you are truly bitten by the comics bug you don't leave them for long. I know a lot of people who've left will come back and there are some I will never see again in the field. That's how it is. But last night I got a grim satisfaction from knowing comics have not beaten me. I still love them like the bastard children they are whether reading or more importantly creating them. Driven me around the bend sure. But BEATEN me? Not yet. Not yet.
I suppose part of this stems from recent realizations that there will be little if any financial gain from comics. Perhaps recent isn't the word- I have always been aware that making money in a substantial way was a longshot- but it looms larger in my mind as of late.
Last night, Kris told me I am still able to peroduce books. Make em ready, get em onto my Lulu account and move em from there until I hit cons again where I can order what I need for said cons. Just have money saved up. I plan on compiling my latest bunch of online work and rarely seen material. I don't NEED to have stock on hand at all times. I'm not THAT kind of creator. I do have lots to tell though of my everyday trials and tribulations, funny and frustrating life stories. I'm not sure what drives my disillusionment. I know it swung in full gear when my Mom passed, when life as I knew it was really torn asunder. I REALLY withdrew from what was already a limited social scene. I closed in the Wall around myself and tossed up sandbags to fortify that wall. Only in the last few months have I cracked open parts of that fortification, allowed myself to feel things other than pain and sorrow.
This is a continuing process. I live for structure and routine and with my job I get that in spades. Much of my home life too. As of late a lot of that is in flux. Hard to deal with change, always has been.It's a war I'm not used to.
Comics too have been part of this. I have no wish to leave the realm of autobiography. It's where I built whatever "name" I have or dubious "success". That will not change.
I came to a realization last night. I've seen people come and go in comics the last 22 years. People who fought the good long fight and others that jumped in feet first thinking that a pot of gold lay before them. I do not consider what I've done all these years to be banging my head against a wall. It is a process of growth and change. When you are truly bitten by the comics bug you don't leave them for long. I know a lot of people who've left will come back and there are some I will never see again in the field. That's how it is. But last night I got a grim satisfaction from knowing comics have not beaten me. I still love them like the bastard children they are whether reading or more importantly creating them. Driven me around the bend sure. But BEATEN me? Not yet. Not yet.
Posted via m.livejournal.com.
Just draw and cartoon.
The rest will happen, if you over think it, it gets unfun real fast.
And for god sakes, avoid ANY quotes by Wally Wood.