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THE IDIOT

Looking at my last post, you would think perhaps old Jay had slipped a cog. "he's almost 45 fuckin' years old!", you think, "You tell me he's only just now figuring this out?!"
Well, I'm not wearing blinders. Haven't for years. Any thoughts I had on comic success went South after Jay's Days: Pasta Shop Lothario took a tank in PREVIEWS. I also learned not to trust that big monopoly called Diamond Comics "Distributing" when they refused to refill orders for the Lothario book. If my Publisher hadn't stepped in and did it himself...
I'm learning to measure "success" in a different way. It's hard to retrain the brain though. I have a bevy of dedicated readers. Hell, one guy told me he bought a copy of the new Not My Small Diary #Eighteen: The Pet Issue just because I was in it. stories like that, well, they get you.
I made a lot of mistakes in my comics "career". A LOT. No denying it. The only way to look though is forward, pretty hard for a guy who does comics that require him to look back. I have enough material from weekly online comics to do a decent sized book. If I scanned my ass off I could have that up and for sale on Lulu in about two weeks. I have my mammoth new book project I am lettering at the moment that I will ship around to any prospective Publishers when close to done. There's no guarantee I have lots of time left on the corpse but why ponder that too much?
Along with the Not My Small Diary anthology I also have a story in the latest book from Chainsaw Comics, the anthology Crazy (which may or may not feature the last collaboration with Joe Meyer as my inker/letterer.), and I'm super proud of that story. I'm super proud of my other Chainsaw Comics pieces in Fear and Joy. I enjoy pushing out anthology pieces and would love to do more, especially for Not My Small Diary (hint hint, Delaine Derry Green!!) a book I've wanted to be a part of for a long time and now am! Anthology shorts are a nice way to stretch the legs and take a breather from longer work and also allow me to share what life has thrown my way.
Yesterday I did my first Podcast "interview" with old pal Paul Quinn and so enjoyed the experience that we'll be doing another at some point. It's also made me rethink my position on hosting a Comics related podcast so who knows? Maybe i'll be coming at you from the bowels of the internet with not just my comics but my curmudgeonly jaded comics opinionated voice too!
I have seen the corpses of comics creators along the road, and those that have stopped to rest and recoup as well. We all have that pesky thing called Life to deal with: kids, mortgages/rent, car payments, etc. Some put comics aside completely and move on to other passions. Some put the work aside and vow to return. Some like me, struggle to juggle the whole sordid mess, and try to learn to accept that this is the best way to deal with it if putting the work out there is the goal. Folks like John MacLeod have risen from the ashes of comics past and are doing it again. I idolize that guy. How can I not try and keep the comic making beast in me alive if he can come out of a "retirement" and do it? So it's hopefully full steam ahead come Hell or high-water folks. No matter how "pointless" or ill advised it may be.

Comments

.... dude, you have got me like gaping here...
i'm already listening to as many podcasts as i have time for, but if you started doing one i'd definitely listen.
I too would love to listen to a podcast from you.
Hi. I am sorry I have not been around much. I have not been on livejournal and I have not drawn anything since being in the hospital. I struggle a lot with depression, anxiety, and self harm but mostly I try to keep it together to just take care of my five kids. I do a lot of activism for non profit groups. I do not have money to buy comics anymore. I have enjoyed your comics I have bought from your lulu page and various anthologies. BAM Too! came out on Amazon with no fanfare at all. Sad to see years of work come out a dud because the publisher had some problems (and I had a load of problem too). So I guess I know how it feel getting older and art dreams. You have done a hundred times better than me. Sure your comics are not famous like the Walking Dead but something to be proud of. I am babbling. I just wanted to check in on you and hope your family is doing well. I wish you were one Tumblr.
as my inker/letterer) and I'm super proud of that story I'm super proud of my other
foster's

April 2015

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